you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I miss vodka workout Fridays
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
