You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
