That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize