I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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