Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
