So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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