i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
