I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Randomize
