So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
My apartment stinks of burning failure
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
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