i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
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