Yo dont text me then not text me
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Shame - the story of my life.
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