I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Randomize
