How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
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