Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
