it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
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