can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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