My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Randomize
