I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
