can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
Randomize
