This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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