it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
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