found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
