You made me cry and you don't even care
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Randomize
