just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
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