as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
