ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Randomize
