he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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