In the future we'll all be gay
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
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