i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
