it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
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