I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
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