but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
