he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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