Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
