Dual....:-)
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
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