i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
You may now shotgun with the bride
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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