dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
