every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
