she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
