Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Randomize
