hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
