yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
tell me about the eggs
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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