Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Randomize
