It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
