ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
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