I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
