I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Just cropdusted the office
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
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