i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
