i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
