im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
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