she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
