She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Randomize