That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
so let's talk penis.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
