i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
