someone get that fucking seahorse.
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Randomize