i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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