yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
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