where does the pee come out of this thing
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Randomize
