Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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