1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
Randomize
