If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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