WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Randomize
