He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Randomize
