ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
