there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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