I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
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