Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
