I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize