How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
