Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
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