I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
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