im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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