am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
sex in a hospital.. check
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
