I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I think my fart just growled at me.
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Randomize
