she sounds like chewbacca in bed
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
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