ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
