Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
there's paper in my vomit.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize
